Saturday, May 08, 2010
525,600 minutes....how do you measure a year?
As the song goes, I measure time in moments of love. This Mother's day, I find myself thinking of this very thing! I have that song stuck in my head and it brings thoughts of my mom, and my time as a mom. Above is my mom. She was a beautiful lady but sadly along the way she became sad and disconnected. Time flies by and before you know it you grow up! She had it hard. She had to raise 2 kids on her own (in the 60-70's). You can find more information and the story behind my dad here. She tried to help herself and us by remarrying. When he became drunk and abusive we packed up our things and moved back to California. (literally! We stayed home from school and flew back to California, leaving a note behind) All of that information was to give her some kind of excuse for being aloof. I think she was just mad at her lot in life. I have no idea what happened in her childhood because she never told me. She pretty much never told me anything about her life. We were poor and didn't have the money to do things like softball leagues, piano lessons, any of the fun things you want to do with your kids. Certainly not vacations or stuff like that. I really wanted those things, of coarse. Mostly because my friends had them so I wanted them. But looking back now, I think I really wanted to have a mom who was invested in my life. For a couple of yeas we did have a family friend who would step in and take us (my brother and I) camping on his summer trips. He would teach us the finer things of outdoor life like how to scale a fish, cook potatoes in a pit, and more importantly, how not to spook a trout!. I think the thing I missed the most in my mom was the friendship you are suppose to have when you reach adulthood. I wanted to know who she was, what made her feel the way she did. But by the time we were older, she was mentally closed off. She never shared anything about her life. I never really understood what made her the way she was, except for what I knew from my own experiences. When she became sick with congestive heart failure (at age 60) she become even more distant. So, I would make meals for her and tell her I loved her and decided to make her life as good as I could giving up on that illusive relationship. My mom is no longer alive and I find myself thinking of her today and all we could have had!
All of that to say, I wanted to be the exact opposite of her. I wanted my kids to love me and each other, We also didn't have a lot of money but I was sure to offer things like guitar lessons, softball leagues, baseball leagues, paper routes, summer vacations, etc. I think we had a pretty wonderful life. I measure my year in things like the photos that follow...
And the next Generation!
I hope when my kids have reached the age I am today that their lives were full of years made up of 525,600 minutes of love! My kids are now mothers and fathers and it is my prayer that they will enjoy the seasons in their lives and measure them with love! Happy Mother's Day all! Enjoy the minutes as you never know how many are left! Be sure to make time for the little things, let your kids know who you are!